I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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