We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
