At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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