I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
