just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
They have beer where we have blood.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
is it fun? or sober?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
