Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize