i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
40s are totally the cure
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
