my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
