she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
