I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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