In the future we'll all be gay
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
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