I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
