No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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