four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize