You smell like a Billy Joel song
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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