Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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