id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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