Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
