but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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