we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
