we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think my moral compass just broke
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