Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
