wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I will pee on everything he values.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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