no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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