When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
