It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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