Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
