but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i now understand why vodka
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
