I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
