In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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