Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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