Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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