so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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