i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
