your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
