Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
