ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize