it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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