I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
