Me too!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
