He is an equal opportunity slut.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
