and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
