i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
