quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
