you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
