Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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