Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
