Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
