Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
