i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
