I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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