That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
