Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
