At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
