I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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