if you like me you must not know who I am
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
