Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
