Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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