I feel like I'm in dance class right now
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
