plz talk dirty to me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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