i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
