Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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