We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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