okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am available for nakedness
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
