how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
