I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
