i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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