It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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