Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
